


As I lay dying

by grillantho



Series: Blue exorcist one shots [2]
Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24802786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grillantho/pseuds/grillantho
Summary: Renzou always knew he wouldn't live long.Shima Renzou was destined to die a lonesome and bloody death as a traitor to both sides.
Series: Blue exorcist one shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793944
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	As I lay dying

Some days Renzou wishes that life was simple. That he didn't have to carefully construct a mask for the entirety of his life. Sometimes he wishes that he was the Shima Renzou that all the others thought that they knew. 

However there are some days where he just loves what he does. It was such an amazing rush when all of the others found out. Renzou had put on a performance of a lifetime even though he got glares and death threats in lieu of a standing ovation.

Though the others saw a glimpse behind his mask, he still had to wear it. He still had to act the part of the goofy pervert. While before the others found out he sometimes lost himself in his role, after they found out he was a spy it never really happened again. His friends thought that their carefree ignorant days are over but they weren't even at intermission yet. 

So that's why Renzou knew it would end like this.

Without a goodbye.

Laying in a pool of his own blood smirking.

He had finally gotten what he wanted.

A life away from the brother he never knew.

A life away from protecting some kid just because his family told him to.

A life of his own.

He only wished that he didn't have to feel all these emotions coursing through him

Why now does he wish that he had gotten the chance at a proper goodbye? Why is he lamenting the fact that the only action he ever got was from his left hand?

Why is it that when he is finally free from the hassles of his life that he wishes they had never left him? 

He knew when he started that he would end up this way.

Shima Renzou was destined to die a lonesome and bloody death as a traitor to both sides.

(The only people to attend the funeral were his former classmates)

(Ryuji finds himself thinking that he wished he could have known the real Renzou. That he could’ve seen the man behind the mask. He's been keeping up a mask of his own the past few months. He buried his grief and anguish with anger and hatred. It’s when he finds a porno mag buried deep in his old room at his mother’s Inn that he breaks down and mourns the friend he never knew.)

(It’s at 3am when Rin finds himself thinking about his former friend. What he wouldn’t give to be back in simpler times where the only thing he worried about with Renzou is that he would be jailed for his peverted tendancies. But as he continued thinking he realized how much Renzou reminds him of Yukio. Rin is terrified that his twin is going to meet the same gruesome ending.)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> Thank you for reading! It's currently 4am here and I couldn't sleep and didn't wanna do school work so I finally wrote this out!
> 
> Shima is one of my favourite characters to be honest, he's so interesting and he has so much depth. So I hope I did him justice in this! 
> 
> I know this was a Renzou centered fic, but I really wanted to add in what I did at the end to express how some of the other characters feel about him, I thought Bon and Rin were the best candidates. 
> 
> Anyways sorry for rambling! Thanks again for reading


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